One Young Woman's Personal Testimony

Hi, my name is Tracy and this is my testimony...

In the spring of 2007 I came across an ad in my neighborhood news letter which said that they were offering a "Post Abortive" Bible Study at a nearby church. For some reason I kept going back to that ad and reading it over and over again… I was drawn to it.

For several years I had been in and out of depression… I didn’t know why…

When I was 18 years old I had the first of my two abortions, and it was after that experience that I started drinking until I blacked out. At that time I also became very promiscuous, had nightmares, and started having panic attacks; fear and grief were my constant companions. I went through many years of pain since my first abortion.

Because this had all happened when I was younger I didn’t make the connection between the abortion experience and my depressed condition. I didn’t understand that the emotional pain I suffered with for years was a result of my two abortions.

At the time when I came upon the ad I had been saved for a couple years, and knew in my head that I was forgiven but I guess my heart did not know it yet. I met with Yvonne and agreed to attend the Bible Study. It was then that I realized I had not grieved my loss... And I really did not know before then that the Lord didn't want me to hold on to that pain any longer.

Long story short: The Lord got a hold of me in 2004; He saved and delivered me instantly from all the drugs and alcohol. Then in 2007 I guess He wanted to do a deeper work in my heart. That is when I came across the "Post Abortive Bible Study." I was in SHOCK!! I knew that the Lord forgave me for going through abortion, but I had NO IDEA He wanted to actually heal me from the pain that it caused.

He has not only healed me from the pain and suffering of something horrible that I did, but He has used it to help others who need to know that they can be healed too...

I can't tell you how much emotional and spiritual freedom I now have since going through that Bible Study...

                                      …Thank You Lord.     

                  

The Mask of 'PERFECTION'

Have you ever sat in church and looked around at all the other people who are there, and wondered about their "story"?  We all have a story.  We all have the story of how we got to where we are in life, and I'm sure we all have something we wouldn't want anyone else to know about.  We sit there wearing our masks, pretending we have it all together, when in reality we are probably all dealing with something - some issue or problem.

Wouldn't it be wonderful if we, the church, the body of Christ, individually and corporately, removed our masks - our mask of PERFECTION - and let each other see our imperfection.  Only when we humble ourselves and become transparent will we be able to heal and truly become ministers to the saints, encouraging and building one another up for the good of the church.  We are called 'the saints' but sadly we often times are far from saintly.  Saintly is as saintly does!

Perhaps if we were more honest about our lives, and the struggles we face on a daily basis, our service to one another would be so very different, more relevant.  Pews across the nation are filled with real people who are in pain and turmoil.  Many have 'secret sin' that is eating them up inside but they're afraid to share their painful secret for fear of being judged and found wanting.   We, the church, are not very good at giving each other permission to be sinners in need of grace. 

We are after all only human and as such we make mistakes.  In our struggle with temptation we often stumble and fall.  Why is it that we expect punishment for others but we seek forgiveness for ourselves? 

There are women in our midst who have experienced abortion in their lives.  Many of them are suffering in silence, desperate for someone to talk to but too afraid to break their silence.  They need the unconditional love of God to be shown to them in a tangible way so they can begin to heal.

To Christian women everywhere: Can we be the ones to take the lead and bring real change to our church family?  Are we willing to be like Jesus and meet people where they are at in life?  Dear Sisters in Christ let us remember these words:

"Let she who is without sin cast the first stone." 

There are none of us perfect, we all like sheep have gone astray.